Frail Love
by Asshatry
Summary: Her ex boyfriend was abusive and she's never told Negan. (FLUFF/SMUT/ANGST) (There is a major rape warning!)


_"Relax, babe. You just need to relax."  
_

 _I tried to pull away from my boyfriend, but he was holding me down hard against the bed. My heart was beating fast and I flinched as he tried to grab my face._

 _"Roy, stop!" I begged, writhing underneath him, desperately trying to escape his grasp. He leaned over my body and his mouth crashed hard against mine. I tried to turn my head, but it was no use. When I didn't kiss him back, he sat up a bit to glare down at me._

 _"You stupid bitch." He held his body up over mine and I felt myself tremble, not knowing what to expect next. Roy was unpredictable. I closed my eyes, half expecting him to hit me when I felt a warm hand cup my face._

 _"Shhh, baby. I didn't mean that. It's okay. Just be a good girl and let's have some fun, okay?" His voice was strained, and I could tell he was still angry. He was always so angry._

 _"Roy, please. I don't want to!" I begged._

 _Roy chuckled low and his hand went to my neck where he squeezed hard. My eyes went wide, and I stared up at him in total fear._

 _"I don't care what you want. No one's ever gonna love you like me. No one's gonna want this fat, disgusting body. I'm all you've got. So shut up and kiss me."_

 _He lowered his mouth back to mine…_

 _And I did as he said._

* * *

I hated having those flashbacks.

And of all the times to have them, this wasn't a good place. I was standing in a big open room with at least fifty other people. I shifted and blinked a few times, trying to shake the memories away. I pulled my dress down a bit and glanced up at what was happening in front of me.

My husband was giving a speech about the rules. I had heard these words many times, but this was different. The rule breaker was someone I knew: My ex.

Roy was kneeling on the ground and all eyes were on him. A few men stood by him as to make sure he couldn't escape. I didn't think he was that stupid, but people were unpredictable when they were afraid. He was babbling inconsistently, begging our leader not to hurt him. He apologized again and again, but his pleas fell on deaf ears.

Roy had fucked up. He had been seeing another girl, Valerie, and I didn't know all the details, but Valerie reported that he had tried to force himself on her. She had said no, and Roy persisted.

I believed her.

 _I knew what he was capable of._

Negan was very clear: Consent was mandatory, and anyone who broke the rules paid for it.

And Roy was about to pay.

I watched as one of the Saviors held the iron out to Negan, who had already put on the fire resistant gloves. Negan didn't even seem fazed, as if this was just another normal day. I had seen punishments like this before, but this time it was Roy. We had history, and after everything he did to me, I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch this or not.

The Saviors held Roy down as Negan continued to explain why he was doing this. I still thought it was harsh, but once upon a time I would have loved to see him suffer.

When Negan pressed the iron to the side of Roy's head—and he pressed _hard_ —Roy screamed so loud he didn't even sound human. He thrashed violently, but the men held him still as Negan allowed the iron to melt his skin.

I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes as Roy's pained shrieks echoed throughout the room. It wasn't long before everything fell silent and I knew Roy had passed out. Most people did. I couldn't even imagine that kind of pain.

"How about we keep our fucking hands to ourselves?" It was a warning from Negan to everyone standing around. "We. Don't. Rape." He handed the iron back to his man and then he left the room. Dr. Carson went to Roy's unconscious body that was still being held up by Negan's men. I tried not to look at him.

There was a tiny part of me that wished Negan would just kill him. It was hard enough having to live in the same place as Roy. I never told anyone about what he did to me. If Negan knew, he would probably chop Roy's head off and parade it around the Sanctuary.

Negan's exit meant we were all free to go back to our business. As a wife, I didn't have any responsibilities, so I headed back to the parlor room. As I made my way there, I remembered what it was like when Roy and I had first come here. Negan had asked me to marry him right in front of Roy, and Roy had threatened that if I left him, he would make me regret it. Sure Negan was an intimidating, terrifying man, but I somehow felt safer agreeing to marry someone I had just met than stay one more second with Roy.

So I became a wife, and Roy didn't do a damn thing about it. He couldn't. Negan's men weren't allowed to talk to us. It made me feel safe— _Negan made me feel safe_. Unlike Roy, Negan never made me do anything I didn't want. So Roy would glare at me when Negan wasn't around and shoot me dirty looks, but I ignored him. He couldn't hurt me anymore.

I had barely sat down and was looking over an old magazine when Negan entered the parlor room.

"Afternoon ladies!" he greeted us, but most of the women continued whatever they were doing. Many of his other wives hated him, but I was grateful to him. Negan kept us safe, and he was good to me. It was because of this that Negan had started to spend more time with me than the others. He walked over to the couch I was at and sat next to me.

He studied me and I smiled warmly at him. Although I had just watched him administer an awful punishment, I couldn't help but feel butterflies in my stomach at the sight of him. He really was such a handsome man. I had come to accept his brutality. I didn't agree with it, but I understood it.

"Did you see what happened today?" he asked, leaning close to me.

How could I not? It was mandatory that we all be there.

"Yeah," I frowned and looked away, not wanting to talk about this with him. Negan was quiet for a few moments, and then his hand reached out and touched my leg. It wasn't a sexual gesture, but more of a comforting one.

"You came here with him, right? You two were together?"

I nodded once and swallowed hard. I felt like I was being put on the spot and I hated it.

"Did he ever hurt you?" His voice was really low so only I could hear him.

I avoided his eyes. I had always hoped we wouldn't have to have this conversation. I knew better than to lie to him. I nodded slightly.

When Negan didn't say anything it made an uncomfortable knot form in the pit of my stomach. I stared at the floor and then flinched when I felt his large hand encompass mine. He pulled me up from the couch gently and pulled me out of the parlor room.

He brought me to his bedroom and I walked ahead inside as he closed the door. I was surprised that he would want to have sex after such a serious conversation, but I figured it would help me get my mind off things. I sat down on the bed and started to unzip my dress when Negan's voice stopped me.

"Leave your clothes on." It was an order, and my hand dropped away from my zipper. I tilted my head in confusion. Why the hell was I here?

Negan sat down on the bed next to me, but his expression was grim.

"What did he do to you?"

The question made me feel sick. I didn't want to have to talk about the details. I didn't want to have to face it, but I knew there was no use in avoiding it anymore.

"H-he… he used to force himself on me." I had never admitted it out loud, and now that it was out in the open, I felt a strange sense of relief, like I could breathe a little easier. And like a hole punctured in a dam, the words came spilling out.

"He used to tell me how ugly I was. How no one would ever be able to love someone like me. And I hated myself. I still do. I hate how I always protected him. We grew up together. He was my best friend, but he's not the the same person anymore…"

I trailed off and then closed my eyes. It was the most I had ever shared with anyone. I knew I could trust Negan, but he didn't need to hear about all of this.

Negan's hand went to mine and he squeezed it.

"I'm gonna kill him."

I smiled a bit and shook my head.

"No, it's okay. You don't have to."

Negan let out a sigh which made me look up at him. He was looking at me with such concern. He wanted to help me, but he couldn't.

"I want to," he insisted. His expression made tears form in my eyes and I tried to blink them away.

"It won't fix anything." My voice cracked as I said it, and then I started to cry. I turned away to hide my face. I had never fell apart in front of him, and I didn't want to start now.

"I'm sorry. I'm broken." I continued to cry and I hated how pathetic I sounded.

"You're not. Please don't fucking say that." Negan's hand touched my face and his thumb traced my jaw. "You're strong as hell for putting up with an asshole like that. I'll make sure he never hurts you ever again."

He was gazing down at me so intensely it caused a warmness to spread throughout my entire body. Negan was gentle with me. He treated me the way husbands should.

He leaned down, and I pressed my lips against his. His kiss was hesitant, but I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened it. He smiled against my mouth and placed a hand on my arm, pushing me back and moving with me so we were both laying on the bed.

I laughed as we fell back onto the mattress and then kissed him again and again. I became so lost in him that I didn't care that my face was damp from my tears. I just wanted to feel him. We continued to kiss until I felt a fire start to pool between my thighs, and I sat up to pull my dress off.

Our hands explored one another, and we undressed quickly, rarely letting our mouths part. His tongue danced with mine when he unhooked my bra and I pulled his boxers down. He groaned as I gripped his hard member and lightly squeezed.

He laid me back down again and positioned himself over me. I smiled up at him and then closed my eyes as he entered me. The sensation was familiar, but there was something different about this time.

This time there was trust—there was passion.

This time, we were making love.

He pressed in further and I let out a soft moan, throwing my head back and trying to focus on the pleasure of feeling him. I loved being with Negan. It was nothing like Roy. I could feel how much he cared for me in the way he kissed me and how tender he was. I felt myself start to cry again, but it wasn't because I was afraid. It was a much needed emotional release.

Negan was moving at a slow pace that was making me hypersensitive to everything around me, and even more emotional than I already was. I moved my hips to meet with his thrusts, which encouraged him to move deeper. His mouth was on mine again and I moaned against his tongue. When he came, I buried my face into his neck and smelled the sweat of his skin. God, he was so perfect. I cried out as my orgasm washed over me and I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears continued to flow.

He held himself over me even after he pulled out and brought a hand to my face to brush the tears away. I smiled up at him as if he to tell him I was okay. I didn't need him to worry about me anymore than he already was.

"You know, I don't normally pick favorites-"

I laughed, cutting him off.

"You tell all your wives that." I sniffled and rolled my eyes playfully at him, grateful he wasn't pointing out I had just cried during sex.

"Yeah babe, but with you I mean it."

My heart fluttered and I couldn't help but grin wide.

I knew he meant it.

* * *

The next day I was sitting by the window in the parlor room. I glanced up from my magazine and looked out the window. A few Saviors were gathered by the fence out front, and I squinted to try and see better. I couldn't get a good look from where I was, but something had caught my eye.

I got up and left the parlor room to head outside. It only took a few moments before I was out the front door and standing in front of the fence. His men dispersed and headed back in, but I stood there staring at the sight before me.

It was Roy.

He was a walker.

They had chained him to Negan's fence. His head turned and glossy, dead eyes stared back at me. My feet moved forward and I walked up to the chain-link, not believing what I was seeing.

Negan had said he was going to kill him. I could see the knife wound in the front of his throat where he had stabbed him.

Roy reached out a pale hand towards me and his fingers touched the metal fence, snarling the whole time.

I took one last look at Roy and then turned away to head inside the Sanctuary. A small smile formed on my lips as I walked back through the front doors.


End file.
